Religion Joke Lover Prints

'Okay, we'll get these down first, and work out the details later.'

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

United Church of OMG

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Finger puppets in church.

A woman in prayer

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Om and Ommer

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Nativity - The sitcom

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."