Relaxing On The Porch Mugs

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

'Anything good on the telly tonight? Yes dear the vase!'

"Who's my perfect little excuse to leave social functions? You are, yes you are."

The following story is based on actual events.

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"I'm getting bitten, and it's not by tall bond traders with accents."

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"I thought we'd stay in and finish this boxed set."

Sod orf, midges...

The first day of spring has finally arrived! The only think I'll miss about winter is curling up under a warm blanket straight out of the dryer on a frigid night.

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

Thoughts of Fall

'Boy, you know our lives suck when our cable goes out more than we do.'

"Hey! Did the ball drop yet?"

"No, I'm really into this series, I am just not into you making a very poor attempt at copying their British accent every waking minute until we finish it."

"We're still pre-rich."