Relationship Woes Lover Prints

"All in black! Who died?"

Life is for the birds.

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"We don't talk anymore."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

DIY marriage counseling.

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

'How long have you been fighting?'

Relationship Issues.

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."