Relationship Navigation Gifts

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

In the Guru District

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"