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How about giving me your phone number. It's in the phone book. But I don't know your name... It's in the phone book.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Life is for the birds.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Reading the sports pages.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Always Compatible

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"