Reflection On Relationships Mugs

"I'm still happy in my marriage, but that may be because Frank went to work one day in 1999 and never returned."

In the Guru District

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Life is for the birds.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"You do like octopus?"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Romance

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Right click for yes...

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"