Reference Raconteur T-Shirts

"Aside from Domino’s, China Palace and Lupe’s Fiesta Garden, do you have any professional references?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Non Thought For The Day.

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Are you blind ref?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"I had half a date last weekend."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"House red, sir?"

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Road Kill Cafe.

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

How Platypuses Are Born

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

Are substitutions permitted? If they were, don't you think I would have substituted another customer for you? Menu.

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

'We're out of pheasant under glass, M'sieur — is duck soup close enough?'

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'