Referee Rumbler Mugs

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Business News.

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

'It was all ball!'

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

"By the time we'd lobbied the government, got planning permission, raised capital, put the job out to tender and built it we didn't need it any more!"

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

U.S. Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

Licensing Officer

"We should be careful, where there's a baby Pope the mother can't be far away."

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

Whatever it is I usually think about.

"Another meeting?"

'On second thought, you're right. It was incidental contact.'

"...and the undisputed winner is..."

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'The NHS is completely 'patient focussed'...and we have the paperwork to prove it.'

Scuba diver/bubbles

"I think it's our gas bill."

"If you are back by December pop into the corner shop and bring me a Christmas pudding."

The Followup?

"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"

Ace mini skips

"Relax. I'm checking for a wire."

Rugby Players and Referees.