Red Carpet Enthusiast Gifts

'And who are you wearing?'

'And who are you wearing?'

"I'm wearing this ribbon to help raise public awareness of my breasts."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

Red Carpet

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

Oscars

Celebrity Tree

"Yes, I'm sure that's not what's meant by red carpet attire."

Cannes Film Festival Heels Controversy

"Treatment involves a red carpet and some flash photography."

Dress code at the Grammys.

Carpet

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Red carpet rolling over a limousine.

Celebrities think taxi drivers are the public.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Haute Suture

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Music Hall Dancers

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

May I have the envelope, please?

Oscars acceptance speech.