Recovery From A Night Out Mugs

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

Speed Dating for Turtles

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

Chef's Choice - Restaurant Around the Corner.

'Mind throwing him back? It's his round...'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

A woman buries her broken heart

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

'This place looks welcoming enough,Alf!'

'You were wrong, Bob, that wasn't her come-hither look!'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

'Why don't you give up breathing for lent?'

Losers Lounge, Less Unhappy Hour 4:30-5:30

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

Sports Bar ???

'A night out is good for a person. I'm figuring on a new handbag.'

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

"But I dreamed I was awake all night."

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."