Real Estate Pillows

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"That's the deal for Manhattan. If you have to ask how much for the Hamptons, you can't afford it."

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

Card section: Condolence (real estate).

Indian burial ground.

Dog Realtor

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

A house haunts a man.

"Hi, come on in to our impressively well-constructed, picture-book colonial home, ideally located on a quiet tree-lined street among the area's finest residences."

"Uh-oh, I think a storm has turned our valuable ocean-front property into worthless ocean-floor property."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

"First time buyers have always been my favorite clients."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

Designated area of outstanding natural profitability.

'One day son, 60 percent of this will be yours.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

'Phase Two : More of the same'

'This is my dream house alright, but in my dream it was about half this price.'

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

"When I said it might sell faster if you put in a new driveway, I meant if you repaved the old one."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

'Does this mean I don't get my security deposit back?'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."