Real Estate Mogul Watcher Pillows

Slumlord Millionaire

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"Sold his air rights."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'They're playing house.'

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'Downwind from a herd of first time investors approaches the pinstriped investment banker, eager to make a kill.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

Estate Agents.

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

"Try not to see them as a ridiculously expensive pile of bricks but rather as a value for money self build opportunity!"

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

"Food prices up, gas prices about to soar - stocks down - house value down - what's next?"

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'