Real Estate Mavens Pillows

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

The Cattle show Week.

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

Emigrating to France.

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

America's funniest investment scams

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"