Reading Westerns T-Shirts

"Who are you callin' a low down snake-in-the-grass? That's upright snake-on-a-barstool to you, mister."

"You're a dang fool, Clem! I told you it, weren't givin' you a high-five."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Meet the author"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

New Guy.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

Nun Fight.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

Young Gums

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

All-Verbal Westerns

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"El muy mal perro"

"So long, Ma, I'm ridin' off into the sunset."

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted