Reading Medical Journals Pillows

The Speculum

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

Early Blood Draw

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

An early medical case ripe for a malpractice lawsuit.

Over the years Dr Litmus had developed a very strong stomach - Reading anatomy book while eating breakfast

Medical Journal. I edited the article on pulmonary treatments. Now I need to write an abstract summarizing it. Ah, making a lung story short.

Hospital Gift Shop

'It says: 'No refills until your primary care physician is released from jail'...'

'In this practice we like to have the best of the old with the best of the new.'

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

"My research paper wasn't accepted by any of the juried publications, but it's regarded throughout the academic community as highly downloadable."

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'I'm sorry, but there are now 16,000 medical jounals, and I no longer have time to see any patients.'

'We'll just mill around till he's asleep, and then send him back up. This operation is actually for a placebo effect.'

"You're not so much crying on the inside as severely hemorrhaging."

"Great news from the science journal. They was us to rethink our methodology, but they love our results."

Man with a wooden leg asking to be measured for a pair of boots

'We'll have to have this appendix out. . .'

How to Keep the Doctors Guessing

'If this doctor can't keep up with the latest magazines, how can he keep up with the latest medical journals?'

"We did the best we could, but I was doing drugs during most of medical school."

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

'I can assure you that the funding crisis in the NHS has been much exaggerated.'

What to do till medicine is discovered....

'Ah! Doctor Fallot! I've read your tetralogy! Very Stimulating!'

"Congratulations, Mr. Roth. You are now officially a syndrome."

"That's strange. We don't have any back issues of the Chriopractic Journal."

'I'm afraid your problem is a serious misprint in your home-medical guide.'

Milestone in Medicine: 'Brand new high technology, Lampwick, I'm going to bleed you!'

How to get published

'Thing sure have changed. Fifty years ago doctors made house calls.'