Reading Literature Pillows

Gathering 'Round The Pork Barrel.

Policeman

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

A monk plugs a leaking cask of alcohol with his finger.

Hamlet.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Occu-Pie Mars

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"