Reading Annual Reports Pillows

This company is smaller than I thought - they've listed me as a majority shareholder.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"#Win!"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Business is off the chart.

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

"Our company is going to embrace cutting edge change...that's why the room is full of old white guys waiting for me to load a motivational video into a VCR."

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'The bank's grown, and we hope you'll grow with us.'

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

'Lately I've detected an alarming disinterest in your work.'

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Falling Prices

'The idea bureaucracy is on the increase is RIDICULOUS... and I have the reports to prove it!'