Reader-in-chief Prints

'You've read that before and it didn't work....'

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"I see the downsizing continues."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Freedom of Speech

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

"Political cartoons that make people think? Are you crazy? We don't want to distract our readers from the weather forecast, the horoscope and the advertisements!"

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

NeighWoof.

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'Do you want to be manipulated by the left wing media or the right wing media?'

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"Baseball is boring."

The psychiatrist.

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

We Are All in This Together. But Some of Us Are More in It Than Others.

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

Fiona Bruce

Global Chilling - US Politics

Land Of The Spokespersons

'Would you mind if I made a few calls while I carefully listen to your ideas?'

"It gets seven out of ten on TripAdvisor."

"The network's infotainment division thinks you should open with a song."

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'

'ANCHOR doesn't mean you drag the whole network!'

News vs Fake News

Jello in the diving pool.

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner