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Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Harsh Mellows.

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Tractor Racing

Car wash / Mouth wash

A souped up car...

Ready for a run!

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

Lover

Now entering new york city... move it, a*****e!

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

You know you've been working at the same place too long when you get dusted before the file board

Bill Tilden

Fisher being dragged along by catch.

'Could you hurry up on that order for table five? -- they're holding the maitre d' hostage.'

Road Construction Blues.

'When I hit the wall, I want to be ready.'

Lawyers Playing Tennis

Why do I always get stuck behind a slow driver when I'm already late?

Ed makes his small but vital contribution to the world's daily crude production.

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

Michael Schumacher

"Is it me or is the commute to work getting worse?"

Race car driver sees Pit crew member holding sign: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Hardly Likely.

"Delicious Special Seasoning? Oh... That's probably just the cook's dandruff."

'Hold on, I have to throw a little road rage at this guy beside me.'

Sailor finds mine in his soup.