Race Reveler T-Shirts

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Theorbo

Joust Sharpener

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

You're the olive in my martini

"I say we move on to dessert."

Easter Egg Delivery

Musical genres

First past the post.

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

A souped up car...

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Jenga!!!

Dave Brubeck

Vitruvian Manatee

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

My own museum.

Candles on Drum

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'It's an old football injury.'

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

"And the crowd goes wild!! In all the wrongs ways."

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

I think we're alone now!

Noel Fever

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

"I should be mad, but that was an impressive hack."

'Yeahh...I remember you...You're that...one guy.'