Race Day Wizard Prints

"There's no shame in coming in second."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Smile

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

First past the post.

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

I got the raise

'That Brown bears watching!'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

Psychic car mechanics.

"When did this game get started?"

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

Loser's Podium.

Get a life

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

'Well, did you win or what?'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

Useless car accessories.

'Since we programmed all of Sousa's marches into their IPOD's, production is up 27%.'