Quirky Workplace Humorist Pillows

'Organ donor. Any other talents?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Golfing Boss

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Work Parfait

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."