Quirky Workmate Prints

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

'Botox.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"This one is less distracting."

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

'The printer repair guy.'

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

Will work for a refill.

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

'Candor is a plus.'