Quirky Wisdom Lovers T-Shirts

"Granddad tells us to see the 'big picture,' so we're watching more television.

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

'I'm screwed...'

Garbage is a collector's item.

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

'Think about this, Kid...If I knew the meaning of life, would I be spending mine, sitting on the top of a mountain?'

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

'I don't know what's wrong with me. It's gotten so I can't tell the difference between the Truth and a truism anymore!'

Funky Facts: A slug has no teeth, 2 teeth or over 25,000 teeth?

"Hypochondria is 100% fatal."

Ancient Secrets to a Happy Life

"The secret of my long life is coffee....how did you guess?"

Fortune Cookies

'Keep your eye upon the hole -- and not upon the donut.'

'I know life is a funny thing, but is it funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?'

'I won't discuss the secret sauce...'

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

'Huh. Listen to this. 'While our eyes remain the same size, our noses and ears continue to grow throughout our lives.''

"This time you can start over without the hubris of youth."

Over 2500 left handed people die each year using products designed for right handed people.

"The meaning of life. It's about 14 years, half off for good behaviour."

Wisdon and opinions