Quirky Office Humor Fan Prints

'Sorry Mr Bed-Bug, but I don't have any seedy hotel jobs available right now...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Can do...No can do

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."