Quirky Grant Hunters T-Shirts

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

Football heads...

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

Well, where's the last place you had it?

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

Pavlov's Dog at Christmas time...

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"Money or your beard!"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

Unsuccessful Christmas novelty items. Blitzen on a Kitten. Angel on a Bagel. Frosty on a coffee. Claus on your Bras.

'Professor Luftkopf is really something -- he got a $300,000 Federal grant to figure out how to program his VCR.'

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Hamster Wheel/Hamster Wall of Death.

"It's more expensive, but I raised it myself."

What are the odds? I'm listening to Ennio Morricone right now, too!

Street Sales

'Mozzie Mozzie Mozzie!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!'

Gift shop tea-towel...

"I'm leaving them to medical research"

Ulysses S Grant as William Tell, Defiant against the Greely-Gratz Brown Presidential Bid