Quirky Grant Hunters T-Shirts

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Football heads...

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

'Professor Luftkopf is really something -- he got a $300,000 Federal grant to figure out how to program his VCR.'

Hamster Wheel/Hamster Wall of Death.

Street Sales

'Mozzie Mozzie Mozzie!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!'

"I'm leaving them to medical research"

Gift shop tea-towel...

'Without government help we can forget about the extra large directors' chairs.'

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

"It's more expensive, but I raised it myself."