Quirky Catholics Prints

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

The ten ammendments

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Sports Day at the Monastery

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Pope Benedict at Easter

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

"D'you have sparkling?"

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Thou shalt make room for donuts...it's a new commandment for the Church of Danae.'

Confessional TV.

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

Instant Baptisms

Big Brother in Monastery.

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

Collection plate at church with signs of the credit cards the church will take.

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

"The Pope said nope!"

"Swag."

Priest disrobes, underneath his body is covered in tattoos.

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

"Geoffrey's joined a Lack of Personality cult."

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

Pope still on tight shedule.

"That's St. Anthony of Padua. He finds every ball I hit in the woods."

"New drive-thru confessional!"

'Lord, we worship the water you walk on.'

Roman Catholic Guilt Trips

Beware of God.