Quirky Business Name Fan Prints

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Non-Power Breakfast

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"It's a swearbox."

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Scapegoat of the Year

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

Death Boss

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

Dorothy and Toto use their special talents to rapidly ascend the corporate ladder.

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"The dip in sales seems to coincide with the decision to eliminate sales staff."

'Any chance you can bite him yourself? I've really got a lot on my dish right now.'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'