Quirk Catcher Prints

'Keith, look! I caught an angular fish!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Freaks of nature exhibit.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Football Crazy strip six

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Niche Extracurriculars

Love is...ignoring his farts.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

Real Estate Personals

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

What's Their Secret?

'What's wrong with you?'

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'