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The Seven Second Workout

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Late Bloomers

'Consider it part of a stimulus package. Do a good job cleaning out the gutters and you get the hole box.'

Woman and sport trainer

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

"I'm telling you, you need to try interval hopping."

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

"Can you just give me a quick trim?"

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

Real Fast Food.

"Pace yourself, Mother."

Tandem cyclists

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

'As a measure of last resort we could divide you into two people.'

Weight washers.

'You need more exercise Mrs Pilchard. Why don't you take my dog for his walk?'

Beginner Level Escalators

'Diet? Exercise... can't you just operate?'

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

Life on Earth - Superfat.