Quick Change Artist Pillows

'So you can get dressed faster than me. So what?'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

Dreaming of Holidays.

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"What … have … you … done?"

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death, should be around here at quitting time.'

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

"Done."

Two boys rehearsing,

Firemen rescue mushrooms and pepperoni with a pizza.

'Is there an elvis in the building?!'

"Yes, you work quickly, but kids expect a bit more detail."

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

Let's Get the Band Back Together

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

Cuba materials for hurricane recovery

'Well, Carrie, it's great that you were able to express some of those repressed emotions!'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

"I'm speaking with you this evening without the benefit of speech-writers or teleprompters. Thank you and good night."

Freedom.

Tonight's specials are on the blackboard next to the exit, Miss. Some women find this very convenient for quick getaways. Menu. Menu.

"We've just booked two weeks in the Algarve, could you sign my sick note for when we get back?"