Quarterly Meeting T-Shirts

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"Personal request here. Do not begin your forecast with the words 'I'm just guessing, but...'."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"The numbers don't lie - we have accountants to do that."

'We're pedaling as hard as we can, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere.'

'But the good news is that my income continues to go up.'

Fiscal projections

"At least we're consistent ... "

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

Work Parfait

"I hate performance review season."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

The Salesman

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Soaring Profits

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."