Quarantine Couch Potato Gifts

"I think that exercising during the lockdown involves more than lifting the remote control."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Love is when you watch television together.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"You are still here."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Tunnel of TV

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

Succession 2