Pup Pondering The Universe T-Shirts

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"Take it easy back there!"

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

I Wonder if They can Think…

'Don't tell me, your human volunteered you to be in the annual Christmas play.'

'Oh, so you do keep track of where you bury things.'

How to be your own best friend...

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

'I must advise you to stop sticking your nose into everything.'

"How 'bout a goodnight sniff?"

'I'm not sure who the father is, I didn't get a look at his face'

The meaning of life...

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

Happy Cat Haven.

Max reflects on what he might have become if only he didn't drop out of obedience school.

"I am blue."

"He thinks he's going with us, so he packed those himself. He even brought a book to read on the plane. I don't have the nerve to tell him he's not coming with us."

Stare your way to bigger meals