Pun Chef Gifts

Deep fat fryar

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

I will study my speling words...

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Privates Beach"

"Bed Spread"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Surreal ale

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"Dogs are men."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'Your Grounded!'

"What can I say? I was an English major."

Luke Sleepwalker...

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"Hey, Sisyphus, when you've got a minute I'd like to discuss this progress report with you."

Biology Laboratory: No Cellfies

"Look who I got a birthday card from!!"

Card shark

Barbed Pen

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.