Publishing Pioneers Prints

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Internet.

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Litterary Dogs.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

An Intimate Union forms between Napster and the Pygmy Sub-Area of Central Africa...

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

Children's Publishing - Child's portrait of 'Our Founder'.

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"It's by A.I. Milne."

Charles Darwin Visits a Publisher. "Past performance is not a Guarantee of Future Results" --- It's a nice book, Mister Darwin, but the title is too long.

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

Admirable People - No.7. The man who invented writing before anyone could read.

"My business is less bricks and mortar and more coffee shops and laptops. I sell NFTs."

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

The conversion.

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"We need a better distribution system."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"We liked your use of punctuation, capitalization, underlines, parentheses, and italics. After that, we had reservations."