Public Speaking Maestro T-Shirts

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

Presentation skills.

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

New World Orders

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

'Hey! Did you suddenly forget English? Get in here!'

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'