Pub Patriot Pillows

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'

"Next time you drink to forget, could you at least remember to pay your bar bill!"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'No ice.'

Military Medals

"I think we may be related!"

City Boy.

'I know it's gassy...'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Men's fragrances...

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

UNFADED GLORY

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Surreal ale

"Just water for me, please."

'You can't come in here with that.'

'The Saxon King' pub

Redhead

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Veterans Day '20

"You lack spontaniety."