Pub Patriot Pillows

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'

"Next time you drink to forget, could you at least remember to pay your bar bill!"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'No ice.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Military Medals

'I know it's gassy...'

"I think we may be related!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

City Boy.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Men's fragrances...

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

UNFADED GLORY

Redhead

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'The Saxon King' pub

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Surreal ale

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Just water for me, please."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'