Psychologist With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

A child as a pet substitute.

Some scents are nonsense.

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'I had this two years ago.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

“Children hate me.”

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Sensory confusion syndrome.

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Spin GP'

Therapist giggling behind patient's back.

'Here is my proposal for making our department more efficient. It contains some of my best cognitive distortions.'

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'