Psychics Pillows

'That's the skip-forward button. Great for jumping to conclusions.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Mind reader: "You're thinking, 'This is really stupid...people can't read minds'." "How'd she know that?"

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

Psychic diving competition.

'...and you cannot change a thing, as you are completely controlled by your genes.'

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

"You're going to get the measles..."

"I see demands for more transparency."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Psychic Car Mechanics.

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

Guess your sperm count

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'There's so little to read, I'll only charge you half price.'

I'll just check whats going to happen with the traffic, before we head home darling.

'Now he wants to talk? Five years I've been gone. What kind of son waits five years to contact his mother?'

"I foresee a nasty fall in your future, but for twenty bucks I can give you a second opinion."

Madame Z, fortune teller...sees all/rells all...can help you find your car.

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

"Perhaps you'd like a second opinion?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"How frustrating. The crystal ball is down again."

"I see no new taxes, followed by some new taxes."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"If she's so good how come she didn't predict this?"

Tarot Cards for Chickens

'I see grave financial troubles ahead for you.'

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."