Psychics Pillows

'That's the skip-forward button. Great for jumping to conclusions.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Mind reader: "You're thinking, 'This is really stupid...people can't read minds'." "How'd she know that?"

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

'...and you cannot change a thing, as you are completely controlled by your genes.'

Psychic diving competition.

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

"You're going to get the measles..."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

"I see demands for more transparency."

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Psychic Car Mechanics.

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'Now he wants to talk? Five years I've been gone. What kind of son waits five years to contact his mother?'

Guess your sperm count

I'll just check whats going to happen with the traffic, before we head home darling.

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'There's so little to read, I'll only charge you half price.'

"I foresee a nasty fall in your future, but for twenty bucks I can give you a second opinion."

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

Madame Z, fortune teller...sees all/rells all...can help you find your car.

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."

"If she's so good how come she didn't predict this?"

'What can I tell you, we're short-staffed.'

"I see no new taxes, followed by some new taxes."

"How frustrating. The crystal ball is down again."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"Must you always have an answer?"

Quantum Psychic