Proud Storyteller Pillows

'It took me 7 hours to get him into the boat. Actually, it's fake, and it took me 10 minutes to buy it off the Internet.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Hansel and Gretal

Alberich steals the gold

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

"So, kids, you should all be thankful we don't live during a potato famine. Especially you, Jimmy."

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"The Icarus story is just that- a story."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

The new boy was teased for being different.