Property Perfectionist T-Shirts

"We worked on this place for years – a real labor of love."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Build Your Own Portfolio

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Bullseye!

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

Perfection

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

The Birth of a Portfolio

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.