Property Investment Gifts

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'No, it's not your dream house. It's your wake-up-and-smell-the-coffee house.'

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

Sketchy Real Estate Agent

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

'Excellent. I'll buy the lot.'

'First the assets...The taxes are low.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

'Why's it so cheap?' - 'Some wild rumour about a fault line.'

Caution- Falling Property Value Next 5 Miles

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'Gentlemen, please!! That was just our first offer!!'

How 'Warehouses' have grown over the years

'Any risk of flooding.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"Ahh, here it is. . . I new we had it somewhere!"

'Oh, no, I'm not selling the house, just the sign.'

Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

Real estate.

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

'The owner is motivated.'

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

Man walks past estage agents. Sign on the door says 'Pushy'.

'Bloody Brits.'

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week?' - 'Yes, and I intend to to continue living there.'