Property Investment Gifts

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'No, it's not your dream house. It's your wake-up-and-smell-the-coffee house.'

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

Sketchy Real Estate Agent

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

'Excellent. I'll buy the lot.'

'First the assets...The taxes are low.'

Caution- Falling Property Value Next 5 Miles

'Why's it so cheap?' - 'Some wild rumour about a fault line.'

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Any risk of flooding.'

'Gentlemen, please!! That was just our first offer!!'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

How 'Warehouses' have grown over the years

"Ahh, here it is. . . I new we had it somewhere!"

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

'Oh, no, I'm not selling the house, just the sign.'

Real estate.

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

A sign outside a house reads "For sale"; the house next door also has a sign that reads "Me too".

House prices remain out of reach for most first-time buyers...

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

'How do you like it as a whole?' - 'As a hole it's fine. As a house it's lousy.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'