Promotion To Executive Role T-Shirts

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

It must be lonely at the top. But it's a great place for keeping an eye on all of your enemies!

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Parade of Businessmen

'I give this one about three months...'

Teamwork

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Leadership training.'

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'