Promotion To Executive Role T-Shirts

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Parade of Businessmen

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Teamwork

'I give this one about three months...'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

Downsizing.