Professional Growth Pillows

"I'm sorry, but I can't hire you. I typed your name in on a search engine, and lazy, selfish, and unmotivated were the categories that came up."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

"When did you say you left school?"

'What you have to understand, Ms. Titmus, is your glass ceiling is my glass floor.'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"It's all about persistence. How many times do I have to tell you?"

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

"I was hoping my employee evaluation would be more than, 'You don't suck.'"

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"What do you mean I ask too many questions?"

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"A good employee never stops learning new skills."

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

'OK, Mr Henman, apart from hitting balls into a net what oher skills do you have?'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

Time to try something new.

"This is quite an impressive resume. Any chance I can work for you?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Laboral life

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"I take it we didn't give you enough time to prepare for this interview."

Not much money, glory, or praise

"My last interview seemed to take on some negative energy after I handcuffed myself to a chair and refused to leave without a job offer."

"Ed, your lack of procrastination is causing some morale problems with the rest of the staff."

A woman is worth five men

"We'd really prefer a resume."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

'This is a very impressive resume. Did you pad it yourself.'

'I feel like my career building has been in hibernation.'