Professional Development Fan Pillows

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents. (Published originally on Janurary 8, 2009.)

I'm stepping out to look for a better job.

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Bright idea

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'I started as an office boy and growled my way to the top.'

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Carrot VS Stick

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

Career advice from the boss

'How could anyone think that this department is under staffed?'

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

"Does anyone know where the leadership training is taking place."

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

'Now that we've discovered a great new laundry detergent, let's try to discover an appropriate price point.'

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

'No, the book you want isn't in our self-help section. It's probably under personal growth or finding yourself or possibly ego awareness.'

"Well, he's learned to walk the walk, now he just needs to learn how to talk the talk."