Prison Reform Enthusiast Pillows

"I got an 'A' star in limited prospects."

'I was a Government bureaucrat, and I showed initiative.'

"My third felony was a smart move. Folks on the outside are still waiting for health care."

Welcome Back Recidivists!

Tell Warden Fusco that if he doesn't meet our demands he's going to have another Attica on his hands!

"Apparently, you're supposed to wait for them to grope you before you take them out."

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

'I hear prisoners get time added on for good behaviour.'

Look on the bright side, you haven't paid a penny in tax since you've been here.

"Being related to the governer is not without certain advantages."

A prisoner with tally marks on the head.

Chasing Dreams

"If elected, I promise to follow my motto 'Don't Get Caught'."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Skeptic Tank.

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

"I can't say I'm wild about these open prisons."

'Credit Crunch - wassat then?'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Human Rights

Prisoner speech

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

'Ask the judge if we can put more than two inmates serving life plus 99 years into one cell!'