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Prisoners remove part of prison wall, use it for playing chess.

'So, how was your day?'

'Just like being in the Post Office!'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

"I know it's my turn, but please continue."

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