
Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'
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Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'
A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.
"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."
Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...
'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'
Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)
"I see here that you are a recent graduate."
'School of hard knocks.'
Graduate
'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'
Ancient Egyptian treasures 3000-900 BC Medieval paintings and sculpture 950-1500 New-in-box Star Wars action figures 1977-1985
'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'
"The labor market is awaiting you!"
'I let my merit badges do the talking.'
Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.
"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."
Bachelors and Masters degrees.
The Blings - collectors of jewelry.
"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"
'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'
No room to hang his diploma.
'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'
'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'
"The best part is, for me history is now history!"
I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!
'Bloomin rare breeds.'
'Well...all right...go ahead.'
Most dog-like dog.
' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'
"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"
More Education Needed
"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."
"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."
"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"
'How many merit badges do you have?'
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