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"For God's sake, Edwards. Put the laser pointer away."

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

'Almost finished.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

In the interest of bringing greater creativity into the workplace...

"First, I want to give you an overview of what I will tell you over and over again during the entire presentation."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

This may help you understand my presentation.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Pie charts cost too much. So I ordered tart charts."

'...As you can see, our proposal is also fully buzzword-compliant.'

'In preparing for his big speech Thorton practices freezing mindlessly in front of a mirror.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'In the absence of an agenda I thought I'd spend the next couple of hours droning on and on about anything that pops into my head!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Our actual performance over the last quarter depends much on one's perspective. Take, for example, this perspective.'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

"Good report. It almost blew me away."

"I don't think I need to explain to anyone exactly what this chart means for us... but just for fun, someone explain it to me."

"Oops! Wrong plug."

"...and it was at this point that I started taking better care of myself."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

'I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. Begin at the ninth.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

'Who said 'duh'?'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'